there's a time delay in my world

Sometimes I do things and the full impact doesn't hit me until later. Well, in this case it was about three months. That's huge. June 30, 2007 I registered for Ironman Coeur d'Alene. Okay, so I'm not stupid, I know what the distances are in a full Ironman. I was getting ready to complete a Half IM on July 8. So, even though I knew the distances I don't think I was fully comprehending the totality of it all. My mind was more focused on the $475 dollar entry fee that I just charged to my credit card (plus misc. fees), and also finding a new place to live, and preparing for the three triathlons I had coming up later in the summer, and spending time with my adorable niece. Well, all that is over now. My last tri was September 9. Joram and I are fully moved into the new place and my sister and niece have moved back across the country. And there I was, last Friday after work at the gym. Not many others were there and my mind was wandering. I head back to my cubicle after my run to check my email and I started looking up some stuff on IM's. And then it hit me. Like a freaking ton of bricks. I suddenly couldn't breathe, I was crying, I was full on in panic mode. What the hell was I thinking that I could complete an Ironman?? I was reading the time limits and how many times you could get DQ'd and I was FREAKING OUT. I called my mom. "It's finally hit me" I'd been waiting for it to hit me for 3 months. I think my mom had too "Are you ok?" "No, I'm in my car and I can't make myself drive" "Do you want me to come up there?" "No." So, I panicked a bit more and my mom talked me down off the proverbial ledge and I made it home. I'm still a bit nauseated every time I think about it though. And to make it better, I'm pretty sure there's a small tear in my left hamstring. Awesome. Stairs are fun!